


Touch

by NorthernGhost



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Feels, New Relationship, figuring it out, sort-of-PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26975725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthernGhost/pseuds/NorthernGhost
Summary: There are some things in life Aloy has only associated with death, fear, and danger, but with a little help she could begin to see them in a different light.
Relationships: Aloy/Talanah Khane Padish
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Don't really have a cute name for this posting.
> 
> Just haven't posted something on a Monday in a while, I guess.

The feeling of rising to consciousness was almost like struggling to the surface of a deep lake, the layers of cold, wet darkness almost insurmountable, but the redhead pushed through them, regardless. After what felt like minutes of struggling, her eyes finally began to flutter open, only to reveal the world blurry and distorted before her. Several more blinks brought the far wall of her bedroom into focus and she sighed, allowing her eyelids to slide closed, once again.

As soon as she did, however, the feeling of something sliding about her midsection forced them open, once again. She froze in place, waiting for the motion to come again, but this time it was much more than something sliding across her: a hand firmly came to rest on her stomach.

Immediately, a tight feeling appeared in her chest as Aloy fought to control the adrenaline pouring through her veins, but it was no use. Finally, her instincts took over and she quickly slid forward, rolling out of the bed and onto the floor, grunting softly as her shoulder slammed into the hard wood, but she ignored it as she popped to a kneeling position, her chest heaving.

Her gaze focused on the bed before her, once again, only to find a hand hanging over the edge of the mattress. A moment or two later, it pulled back, out of view, only for a head to appear above the edge of the sheets, its raven-colored hair wild and partially matted against the owner’s head.

“Aloy…?”

The redhead continued to stare back at the image of the other figure before the features began to register in her mind.

“T-Talanah?”

The Carja woman raised a hand to rub at her eyes tiredly before seeming to pull herself closer to the edge of the mattress, her chin coming to rest on its side.

“Wha’s wrong?”

The redhead swallowed heavily, slowly rising to her feet.

“N-n-nothing,” she stammered, clenching her jaw at the tremor in her tone for a moment or two, “just… surprised me.”

The Carja lifted her gaze, propping her head on one hand as Aloy’s gaze swept over her clearly bare back, just visible above the top of her sheets.

“S’okay,” Talanah mumbled. “Come back here.”

The redhead swallowed heavily, self-consciously glancing down at herself to thankfully find that she was dressed in her under-tunic and leggings, at least.

“I… uh… I’ll start breakfast, actually,” she said. “I’m hungry… you must be, too.”

The Carja began to lift her head, her brow furrowing in concern, but Aloy quickly turned on her heel, making for the stairs to the lower level of her apartment. Before Talanah could call after her, Aloy had begun descending the wood steps, hopping down them as fast as her legs would allow her. Once she reached the bottom, she let out a heavy, gasping sigh as she ran her hands back through her hair.

The feeling of where the Carja’s hands had laid on her moments ago seemed to burn into her skin, even through her clothing, and she absentmindedly rubbed at them until a full shiver ran through her, her arms folding tightly over her chest.

“ _ There was no threat. _ ”

“ _ She was being nice. _ ”

The thoughts swirled about her head, trying to push away the feelings that lingered on her skin, but the burning sensation only seemed to grow stronger, until she felt her nails pressing through the fabric of her top, attempting to tear at the flesh beneath. Her breath hitched in her chest, her vision blurring for a moment as she staggered away from the bottom of the stairs, careening across her apartment until she came to a stop against the counter of the kitchenette.

“ _ It’s Talanah _ …”

The redhead squeezed her eyes shut tightly against the thoughts, the higher-level thinking quickly drowned out by the tense, tight feeling of sheer panic that tightened around her heart.

“ _ Combat. _ ”

“ _ Death. _ ”

“ _ Struggle. _ ”

She shook her head, as if to dislodge the thoughts, but it only shook more loose.

“ _ You almost died. _ ”

“ _ This is not how you survive. _ ”

“ _ It serves a purpose… and that is often death. _ ”

With a sound halfway between a gasp and a sob, she staggered around the countertop, quickly pulling open her cabinets in a vain attempt to actually find food to make. Eventually, she did find a basket of fresh eggs someone had purchased from a market at the bottom of the mesa and she dragged them beside the small hot plate she had cobbled together from scavenged parts. As the heavy, cast-iron skillet slowly heated up, she found her hands absentmindedly rubbing at her middle, over the exact spot she had felt the Carja’s touch earlier.

“ _ Danger. _ ”

“ _ Strength. _ ”

“ _ Death. _ ”

Her eyes squeezed shut for several long moments before she finally forced them open, hovering her hand over the skillet before reaching for one of the eggs. As she cracked them into the pan, she focused on the act of combining the rapidly congealing, white substance with several spices she had also purchased from one of the markets… sometime in the past week.

“Fuck…”

Aloy closed her eyes tightly as she tried to force her thoughts back into order.

When had she gone to the market?

What had happened last night?

Why was Talanah in her bed upstairs?

Before she could find an answer, however, the feeling of hands wrapping around her middle prompted the redhead to shriek, spinning away from them as she reached for a knife resting in a wooden block on the counter beside her. As she finished her maneuver, brandishing the sharp tip toward her perceived attacker, she paused.

Raven hair.

Turqoise silk top.

Golden amber eyes wide.

“Fuck…”

Aloy sighed heavily, hanging her head as she slammed the knife down on the counter beside her.

“Easy, easy,” Talanah cooed, her voice soft as she raised her hands defensively. “I’m sorry…”

“I-I’m…. fuck, I’m sorry,” Aloy mumbled. “I… just… please don’t surprise me like that…”

The Carja paused for a moment before nodding, her hands slowly lowering as she visibly swallowed.

“Noted,” she managed. “I’m sorry, Aloy.”

The redhead cringed at her response, closing her eyes tightly as her arms folded around her torso, once again, and she felt almost as if the room were spinning around her. Finally, she found her footing as she forced her back into the hard, stone countertop behind her, the momentary pain pulling her back to the moment.

“I… I could use… could maybe use some—help—with… with this stuff,” she muttered, “I guess… or… you could wait on the couch…”

As Aloy lifted her head, she found Talanah staring back at her with a curious expression, her posture much more straightened and stiff than usual.

“Would you… prefer if I just went home?”

The redhead’s heart suddenly leapt into her throat as her right hand involuntarily shot forward, reaching toward the Carja, even though she hadn’t moved.

“No!”

Several long seconds passed as Aloy’s outstretched hand curled into a fist and she pulled her arm back, wrapping it over her stomach, once again.

“I’m… I’m so sorry, I… no one’s ever…”

The redhead trailed off as she felt her jaw clenching tighter and tighter, her eyes sliding closed, once again as she fought against the feeling of a hot, damp feeling building in them.

“I don’t want to cause distress,” Talanah finally said, her voice the softest Aloy had ever heard it, but its volume seemed to echo about the kitchenette, regardless. “Just… tell me what you need… or what you want… and we’ll work from there…”

Suddenly, the feelings pressing in against Aloy’s skin finally seemed to break through the barrier, flooding her veins with an icy, tense feeling as she slowly sank to the ground, her back pressed into the corner of the counter and cabinets. Talanah made to move toward her for a moment before pausing, hand outstretched, by the far end of the countertop. The redhead took several deep breaths before swallowing at the heavy lump in her throat.

“I… if you…”

Her words trailed off as the feeling in her chest tried to constrict her throat, preventing her from speaking, but she pushed past it, clenching almost her entire body as she forced the words from the very center of her core.

“To me if you… if you’re going to… hug and… touch and… all that… you have to mean it.”

A heavy silence hung over the room, the sounds of the frying egg fading into the background as Aloy’s gaze focused intensely on her knees before her.

“So… so do you?”

When she finally lifted her head to look at the Carja, she found Talanah leaning heavily against the counter beside her, an expression somewhere between pity and sadness on her face as she stared back at the redhead. At first, a fiery feeling began to build in Aloy’s chest, but another quickly doused it as the raven-haired woman spoke.

“Yes.”

Talanah carefully approached Aloy before sliding to a seated position against the cupboards adjacent to her, pulling her knees in vaguely toward her chest for a moment before extending one hand between them, her fingers spaced out, somewhat. The redhead stared at it for several long moments before tentatively reaching her own forward, her fingertips just barely coming into contact with the Carja’s.

“Absolutely, I do,” Talanah breathed.

Instantly, an electric feeling jolted through Aloy, the touch sending it along her arm while the Carja’s words instantly transferred from her ears to her spine, sending a deep shiver through her. They remained in the same position for what felt like hours, but must have been only minutes, before the redhead cleared her throat, adjusting her grip to slide her fingers ever so slightly along the Carja’s.

“You… you don’t have to change everything about you… just for me,” she muttered. “I’m sorry, I…”

“I’m not.”

Talanah’s voice was quiet, but firm as her fingertips momentarily pressed against the underside of Aloy’s fingers, before relaxing, once again. The redhead sighed shakily, her eyes sliding closed as she hung her head between her knees, her fingers beginning to pull away from the Carja’s.

“I know… what you want and… I’m sorry I’m not that.”

The air seemed to hang suspended between them for several long moments before Talanah’s touch stopped Aloy’s from sliding away, her fingers pulling her hand back in before sliding slowly along the underside of them, finally prompting Aloy to look up at her with a single eye, the other still partially hidden behind a mane of unruly, copper hair.

“What I want,” Talanah began, her golden-amber gaze unwaveringly fixated on the redhead, “is  _ you _ .”

Aloy squirmed uncomfortably, but the Carja refused to let her hand pull away, holding it in place with a gentle insistence from her fingertips.

“You can’t say you’re not… you,” Talanah continued, “not right now…”

The redhead let out a sound halfway between a laugh and sob before she quickly hid her face against her knees, but left her right hand suspended atop the Carja’s, her mind acutely aware of the sensation of Talanah’s fingertips slowly sliding across the underside of her own fingers.

“I don’t care… how long it takes… or what it takes,” the raven-haired woman said slowly, “but I’ll do it… for you.”

Aloy finally lifted her head, meeting the Carja’s gaze as she felt the first tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

“Why?”

Talanah offered a small smile, her motions against the underside of Aloy’s hand slowing for a moment before her fingers pressed insistently against the redhead’s.

“Because you’ve got me here, and I’ll be damned if I’m going anywhere unless you tell me to.”

The redhead remained silent for several long moments before her fingers pressed back against Talanah’s with equal force.

“Don’t go… please.”


End file.
